The eyes of evil!
There are a lot of things in this world that I don’t understand, but lately there have been three main things that are just horrible that have been in the news, and they all have one thing in common. Fangirls. What are these three things, you ask? Twilight, Chris Brown, and Justin Bieber.
As I have mentioned in many previous posts, fanboys, and fangirls are the bane of society. They don’t shut up, they won’t leave you alone, and they destroy Twitter. In many cases you can obviously tell that the fangirl is a thousand times worse than the fanboy.
In the above picture you see the eyes of the most beloved celebrities to the typical 12 year old. Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward in the Twilight series, that abusive douche-bag, Chris Brown, and the pre-pubescent pop star, Justin Bieber. Why are they so evil? There are many different reasons. Let us go through them one by one.
Twilight
Robert Pattinson isn’t the one to blame in this picture, it’s the series that he is in where he portrays the lead role. Twilight is the story of an angsty little teenage girl who falls in love with a pasty looking guy who happens to be a vampire. When I first heard of this I thought that it was just going to be another one of those teenage romance novels that would eventualy just die off, but I was fucking wrong. This train wreck became one of the biggest sensations since Pokémon (not that Pokémon sucks). Once it became popular things were a total mess. Girls everywhere began to fall in love with vampires, and digging themselves a shallow grave. We all know what these creatures are like, and what they are capable of, but these girls don’t listen. Some day one of them is going to get eaten, and I’m just going to laugh about it.
This series ruins all horror fiction as well. It’s one thing to slightly alter a well known species to suit your needs as a writer, but it’s another to fucking change everything about them. In Twilight, vampires don’t die in the sunlight, the sparkle and shit. What kind of shit is that? Anyone can sparkle in the sun if you used enough stripper grease, and glitter. Go down the block to your nearest titty club, and check if you don’t believe me.
The worst part is that the new movie, Eclipse, the third installment in the series comes out tomorrow. Shit.
Chris Brown
Chris Brown is just an all around despicable human being. Once a Hip-hop super-star, now just an abusive dick. I don’t know if you guys remember this, but this is the same guy who thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and beat the living Hell out of his significant other,R&B artist, Rihanna. Remember those pictures? I sure do, they weren’t pretty.
Brown recently made an appearance at the BET awards as the host of a memorial to the late Michael Jackson. Now if you don’t understand why this was a bad idea then let me enlighten you. Michael Jackson grew up in an abusive home. Him, and his brothers and sisters were all force by their father to record their music. This was a very traumatizing experience for Jackson, and would explain why he was always so childlike as he never got to experience a real childhood. Chis Brown IS ALSO AN ABUSIVE MOTHER FUCKER.
“I only beat Rihanna, not dogs, so you should still love me!”
The real fucked up thing is that he has all of these fangirls (and fanboys) screaming his name, and defending him. Let me get this straight, you love Chris Brown, who abused his former girlfriend to Hell, but you still hate Michael Vic, who abused dogs? Sure they’re both evil, but beating on a fellow human being is a lot worse than beating on a dog.
Check my tweet:
Justin Bieber
Let me start off by saying that I don’t have a problem with Justin Bieber as a person, but I do have a serious problem with his fangirls. I can also say that I don’t care for his music, but that’s not the point. The point is that this guy has drawn up a huge fangirl following, and they just don’t shut up!
You can’t swing a bat without hitting one of these girls (fugitively, I wouldn’t actually be able to do that without getting charged with assault on a minor). They are literally everywhere on the Internet. They have turned Twitter into a giant Justin Bieber fanclub, they do nothing but talk about him, and if you say anything negative about him they will threaten to kill you (empty threats from 12 year olds are fun to get though).
Because of these fangirls you cannot browse the web without seeing an article, a tweet, or an image of this kid. To counter this, a browser plug-in called Shaved Bieber was created to make your online experience a little bit more friendly. If you would like to read more about it, or possibly download it, click here. The creation of this however has angered Beiber fangirls across the globe. For some reason they believe that this threatens their precious idol, and just won’t have it, even though this is an opt-in thing, and not something that you have to have, or you’ll die.
Recently, Justin Bieber fangirls got a little pissed because he didn’t win a BET award. This just in: Justin Bieber isn’t black! They are that bad. I’m pretty sure there haven’t been too many white guys to win BET awards. However if you would like to argue that he deserves one more than Chris Brown, I will agree with you.
I welcome death threats from 12 year old girls.
